An Escape to nowhere!!

Saturday 5th September.

This one plays out like a scene out of a movie made by an action director like Michael Bay meeting a surrealist like David Lynch.

By the way, although this has got nothing to do with my dream, I love David Lynch's Mullholland Dr. An amazingly surreal movie that plays out ..... like a dream !!!

My Dream..

I see a lone building, huge and rock-solid , in the middle of nowhere. It looks and feels like the US Govt's Area 51 .... a secret location that's.. well.. top secret(hehe)!! I see a long approach road leading upto the building. The building is 6 storeyed... and each floor looks really tall.... around 20-25 ft in height. It looks more like a fortress, and surrounding it is nothing.... as far as the eye can see, there's just barren land and strong dusty winds.

The strange thing is.. it turns out to be some kind of a hostel... I am apparently living there...The inside of the building is more like a shopping mall.. with 2 or 3 escalators and flights of strairs connecting each floor. There are around 5-6 flats on each floor, each having 3 spacious rooms.

As I enter the 6th floor , I turn to the right and turn the key of the 2nd room from the stairs. It looks like I live here. I see the 3 huge rooms with minimal furniture.. typical of a bachelor's pad. I share the flat with 5 guys.. 2 each in one room. I do not know whom I am living with . One lean and almost emancipated-looking guy walks up to me from the neighbouring room and asks me .. 'What do I have to do to make this room look nice and neat?? Will I get beaten up by the big guys I do not keep it clean!!? ' .... I remember smiling at the way the guy said it.. when I was recollecting this dream.. :)

What I remember most is the terrace.... or the lack of it.

The scene suddenly shifts to me sitting on what looks like an extended windowsill. In front of me are clear blue skies and the wind blowing hard at my face. I am thrilled and scared at the same time. What I am sitting on is a small horizontal concrete extention, right above the top floor. The way to get there is through a small window-like opening at the top of the one of the building's four boundary walls. It looks like a bunch of guys , including me, sneak out each day to the 'terrace sit-out' and freak out in thrill and fear. We are about 180 ft from the ground... and its quite scary to think that one wrong step would send us free-falling down to the harsh ground.

Stranger things were in store..

I am on the top floor... in one of the flats.. where some kind of a crazy rave-party is going on. I see men and women dressed in strange attire on a stage... it looks like some kind of fashion show. These men and women walk around in circles on the stage, robotic in their demeanour... I see myself observing the proceedings, and a few other recognizable faces too in the crowd..

I am sure that unlike most of my other dreams which span over a time period just a few minutes (in the timezone of my 'dream-world') or perhaps 2-3 hrs in some cases, this one spans over a few days, or perhaps a few months.. Its like the account of my life during my stay in that building.

Another day, another 'event'...

I am in my room , lazing around, not doing much , when suddenly one guys whizzes past my flat. As he runs , he shouts aloud ...' Aren't you running ,mate?' !! I am confused. I wonder what's going on and in my curiosity, look out of the window. I see a large gathering of people downstairs. I recognize one or two of them as being guys from my office. They too, were a part of my life in that building , I remembered meeting them on different ocassions.

I run out of my flat and hear a sound that I'd rather not hear. The 'Evacuation' alarm had gone off!! I could not hear it in my room.. apparently, due to faulty wiring. I remember attending one of the sessions during my stay in the building where they 'demo-ed' the 'evacuation plan' , and explained that the alarm would go -off only in case of a bio-chemical attack on the building, via the use of the plumbing infrastructure of the building. ( This really took me back to some of the mock fire-drills they had in Infosys, which was more of a fun-time for everyone than a serious exercise!! ) I see that very few people are yet to leave the building, almost everyone has been evacuated.

I feel the bile rise in my throat as anger and fear grips me.. anger at the faulty wiring and no one thinking that I am 'important' enough to be the priority during evacuation , and fear of having to outrun the deadly gas that may have been pumped through the pipes! I rush down the flights of stairs, I am horrified to see that the escalators have stopped working. I remember running down the stairs at full speed, and the image of the poisonous gas rising up the pipes looming large in my head.

I manage to reach the ground floor and out of the building ... I see a couple of faces I the crowd that I think should have helped me... I feel dejected at the thought, but feel elated to have made it out safe...

Palaces, Pune , Paris , Peshwas and Pigs!

Friday September 4th.

It was during my visit to the UK that I also made sure I visited the city of my dreams(no pun intended!!) .. Paris. My love for the city is more than what words can describe, so maybe I'd just do that sometime else!! But... what did come back to me in my dream was the elegant, romantic and beautiful street-side cafes and restaurants of Paris.

I loved to see lovers, artistes,tramps,families(at times) and other wandering souls sitting on the chairs and tables laid out on the streets, sipping a cup of hot coffee and biting into a croissant and showing their love for each other without any inhibitions.

I wished Pune would be like that some day.

My Dream..

Scene 1:

I am on a visit of what looks like an old, dilapidated remains of a fort. I see three of my friends from office , who are visiting along with me. I recognize only 2 of them, I guess the last one's identity is lost in the thick of the night:) . The fort is built in a mountanious region and from where are standing, we can see the ground below us curve and dip and run into an open channel of water, at about a 25 feet below our current elevation. This particular picture in front of me reminds me of some of the palaces and castles we visited in Scotland. We are apparently playing a game... to run down at full speed down the slope and come up again.. whoever comes back first.. wins!

And there we go.. all four of us, running at full speed down the slope.. its impossible to curtail our momentum as we run further and further down.... I see all of my friends, one by one, reach the lowest level, turn back effortlessly and run back up. Its my turn now... I am about to reach the end of the slope when I find it impossible to put brakes on my feet and I crash into the open channel of water. I manage to get up somehow, but my momentum is lost and as much as I try, I find it impossible to scale the uphill terrain. I slip at times, I tire at times and give up... It looks like I am caught there forever, unable to reach up... These unscuccesful attempts of mine keep playing in a loop ..

Scene 2:

This is where Pune meets Paris. (In real life, I keep hearing of Bombay being transformed into Bangkok and all other false promises... at least in dreams, its possible to achieve the impossible!) .

I see the two quiet lanes behind my office. Its called Shivaji housing society and its situated at a stone's throw away from the bustling Senapati Bapat road, which houses many big IT companies in Pune). I love the houses built in these lanes as they are so approachable from the main road, yet so quiet and peaceful , almost cocooning themselves from the outside traffic and noise. They look unusually clean ... very very clean indeed. No stray dog in sight, no litter strewn around, no one's spit splashed across the tar, no street children's faeces dumped across the corners... The bushes and grass adorning the sides of the lanes are well manicured, the maple trees lining the sides are straight out of a beautiful painting. All the houses are built similarly and painted in pristine white. The wind is soothing to the ears, the leaves falling off trees makes it all look surreal.

There are rows of tables and chairs laid out on the lanes, along one side. I see myself seated at one of the tables, sipping on a cup of hot coffee. There's no one else around, as I take in the beauty around me and enjoy me cuppa'.

How I wish this turns into reality someday. I think we all deserve a much cleaner, a much better city to live in.

Scene 3:

Swine flu's made life hell for everyone in Pune. Unfortunately, the city of the Peshwas had to play host to a virus that has jumped from pigs!

I am in my office, where I see a couple of guys ( I recognize them, but no revealing names!) walking around looking quite sick. I see kerchiefs and towels tied around their noses and necks... I see one of the guys draped from head to toe in a winter woollen shawl.

Don't remember anything else from this part.. I guess this part of my dream was just the result of the fear pyschosis that's gripped the city.

Some things hurt

Thursday, 3rd September

Its so difficult to forget the past at times. Although newer things happen to you as life goes on , and old memories are replaced by new ones, sometimes, deep inside, some things do remain.

This one is going to be short as I don't remember much and I don't want to get too personal either.

My Dream..

Fifteen years have gone by since today.

I am seated in my house, in my room. I look my age , about 40. I still have my french beard on though (its turned a little salt n' pepper in its look!) . I have a feeling that the phone has rung a couple of times last night, and I wasn't able to pick it up.

Just then, some guy (I have no clue who he is) passes by, and tells me 'She (I want to refrain from using names here) called last night. She wanted to speak to you. I told her you weren't available. Maybe she'd call again' .

I remember going into a temporary state of what can be called a mix of elation and disbelief.... and then asking the guy who just spoke to me... 'Will she really?' .... and this is where it ends....

An af'fair' to remember!

Monday, August 31st.

This is going to be a short one. I don't remember much from last night, have had a busy day and am in no mood to give more work to my already-asleep grey cells!

Here it is..

My Dream...

Its me and my mother again (whatever happened to my father, I think he likes to stay away from my dream-land! ) , this time... on a visit to fair!!

It looks like the local circus is in town ... the huge grounds are packed with hordes of people out to enjoy themselves. There are colorful tents all around me.... which seem to be housing lots of performances! Only, this doesn't exactly look like the circus... the acts look far more serious, some to the point of being surreal.

I also notice that its not the trained artistes who are performing, rather an open invite is thrown to the attending audience, to overcome their fears and perform acts of extreme courage. I see a man , in his mid - thirties, balancing himself on what look like two wheels of a Maruti-800! There are 3 more men around him ..constantly replacing the objects underneath his feet .. each subsequent object has an increased level of difficulty... the wheels are replaced by what look like a couple of rollerblades, only with grease smeared all over them.... and then come a pack of revolving glass globes.... I just don't remember this so well..

In another adjoining tent, I am invited by the man, who looks like a cross between Captain Jack Sparrow and apna desi Panditjis... (weird!) .... to take part in a 'star-gazing' contest.... The insides of the tent look eerie... I am almost scared... But when I look up, I see a false screen that resembles the inside of a planetarium. It was one of my most memorable outings as a child, when I'd been to the Birla Planetarium in Hyderabad.. it started a long journey of my fascination of all things astronomical.... galaxies, nebulas, constellations, black holes, supernovas.... I still try to maintain my level of curiosity.... sometimes I even wish I'd chosen a career in this field! The man tells me that I'd win if I manage to look up , just for about ten minutes...

And off go the lights, and so does this particular dream!

The curious case of the futuristic camera...

I sometimes have more than one dream during the night.. and I think last night was one such. Although the one where I went to the fair wasn't too clear when I woke up . . the other one was very clear. It resembled the blockbuster movies of today ... low on story and high on technique!!

I think the location is a revisit to one of my previous dreams . My high school (Saraswati Vidyalaya) premises! Its just me and a couple of nondescript friends sitting in one of the classrooms , near the window , and staring out of a very futuristic looking lens. The lens of course, belongs to an amazing looking camera, that is suspended in thin air, with apparently no support! It looks like it can transform from one shape to another, a compact and lean cube at sometimes, a semi-circular curving shape at another.. and many more!

I focus it on one of the opposite building's walls.. about a 30 feet distance from the window. I twirl the focusing wheel for it to show me the corridor on the first floor. The camera whirrrs and zips and spins each time I adjust the wheel.. making an almost robotic sound. The image zooms and pans and rotates in front of my eyes with each spin, laying out a 3-d projection of the object I want to see , about a foot in front of me.

What I remember the most is the way it felt to use the camera. It worked like magic. Almost robotic in feel . The precision of a surgeon's knife. The way the camera moved and transformed and focussed made it look like I was a part of a science fiction movie!! Looks like I should be satisfied at just having saved 150 bucks!

Getting wished on the wrong date, going back to school and some 'Reality' TV!

Sunday, 30th August 2009

The number 27 is quite close to my heart. I was born on the 27th of April, my mother on the 27th of March and my father on the 27th of June. Quite a rare co-incidence of birthdates!!

Easy to remember as well for everyone who knows us!

I keep calling my parents 'very good planners' in this regard , at least!

Not too surprising then, that even though I messed up my birthdate in my dream, I messed up only the month, I stuck to the date!!

My Dream..

This one starts in my house, in my drawing room. Its quite late into the night, November the 26th. I am seated lazily on the couch, watching TV and reading newpapers , whilst my uncle and aunt (who live in Bombay as of now, but I wonder why they are recurring characters in my dreams! ) are seated in front of me, making petty conversation.

Its around 11 :55 pm in the night , when my mobile rings. I am quite irritated at first, not wanting to be disturbed from my pursuit of laziness. When it comes to lazing around, I am not quite a big fan of Newtpn's second law of motion ! I get up rather clumsily and check who it is... and am even more irritated to see the number flashing on the touch screen. Its a number I instantly recognize... Infosys , Pune. When I was working with Infosys, I received so many calls from friends/ collegues from the office phones... the number that always flashed was 020 22932800... I never saved it in my contacts list.. so this number was almost printed on my mind !

I am amazed... who could it be at this late hour, I wonder. I pick it up and the voice at the other end says in Hindi ... 'Happy birthday Arvind! ' .. 'Did you recognize me?'... 'Its Mr. S here!!' ( I refrain from using actual names in my blogs to avoid any misunderstandings with people.... sorry about that, I am a bit of a coward I guess !) ... Now this guy is not really someone I expect to call me... he' was one of my collegues in Infosys , who was more an acquaintance, than a friend.... but he is the friend of a very close friend of mine...

'Happy birthday' ??? Where did that come from? I am perplexed , even as I explain to this guy that he's made some kind of a mistake. That's when he insists he didn't , as this is the date that there is on the 'shared XL sheet' on the office file server!! ( So much for working all day with shared XL sheets I guess.... it had to pop up in my dreams some day!! ) . That's when it strikes me, that I'd apparently made a mistake in entering my birthdate as 'November 27th' instead of 'April 27th' ... I have no clue how this could have happened!

Even as I am about to laugh off this call, the phone rings again.. This time, its another number I instantly recognize.. 020 25661992 ... the phone number of my current workplace.. Sigma software solutions in Pune. I almost want to not take the call, but I end up doing just the opposite... 'Its G n G here' !! .... says the synchronized voice of a male and a female at the other end .... I am totally flummoxed! ... Its some of my collegues from office .. I don't really have a nice thing going for these guys (why do people I like a lot don't appear much in my dreams ?!! ) ... and are the last ones I'd expect to call me. But call they did... and off went the wishes again ... 'Happy birthday!' ..they sing in unison ! I love the way things connect in my dreams.. this XL sheet was apparently 'shared' between both these companies.. crazy !!

I finally decide I have had enough and that before any other unwelcome acquaintance calls me, I better log on to my office VPN and set the date right in the bloody XL sheet! I just got a VPN connection from the office admin guys.. .so that explains why this fact popped up here!

That's the end of that ...Scene one.. birthday wishes gone wrong and hearing from all the people I don't want to hear from !!

The scene suddenly shifts to a classroom, which looks like the class Xth A ( or is it some other one?) of the school I studied in (Sarawati Vidyalaya in Pune) . I recognize it instantly due to way the corridor looks outside the class, the layout of benches and the teacher's room next door. On the blackboard (which is actually green in color, for some weird reason) is written neatly.. 'Unit test examinations' ... apparently an exam is about to commence and I am the only student who's reached on time! In the dream , I am my present adult avatar, but yet somehow, I am the student here.. I am not wearing any uniforms to suggest this , but I do know that I am in this scene as a student! The benches are neatly arranged and on each bench, is a packet of Marie biscuits and a glass of orange juice. A distinguished looking lady walks in ... 'Must be the teacher' , I think aloud in my dream! 'How many gold members are there in this class???' !! , she asks!! I really take a long while to try and understand this, and looking at my confused expressions, the teacher offers to explain .. 'How many students who have ranked 1st and 2nd in the last exams are going to be seated here?!!' ... Waking up .. this particular line felt so funny, as I was recollecting the sequence of events in my dream.. I don't answer anything .. and she says something more and leaves... 'Anyone suffering from a stomach ache in this class? I will remove the orange juice glasses from those benches' !! How weird can it get!!

Scene two ends here... the sudden shifts in situations and locations and people and stories in my dreams would be something an award winning editor would be proud of ! ( am I being too pompous here! Pardon me! )

Scene three..

I am seated in a very large room... spacious, but not really elegantly done. Chairs and couches and beds are strewn all over, like brushstrokes from a piece of modern art! I am seated in a particularly over-sized chair, sipping on cold coffee and munching on chips. In real life, an ideal set up for a movie marathon on DVD , I'd say ! How ironical then, that in my dream , it turns out to be something far more real !

Suddenly, a group of performing artistes appear from behind the curtains and start singing and dancing and making merry in front of me!! I am thrilled and I thoroughly enjoy it! They're done in ten minutes and then, group after group of artistes pop up and perform short skits, plays, scenes from popular movies, poetry recitals and what not .... each act in the span of ten to twenty minutes! I kept track of time since there was a nice big clock on the wall in front of me.

I don't remember much about this part of my dream, except one very nice fact. One of the persons involved in one of the acts turns out to be Sonali Bendre, a popular and very beautiful indian actress.... not so strange this one.. I really started to love her all over again after she appeared in one of the reality shows being aired currently on TV!

Hmm.... the dream ends abruptly , or perhaps I don't remember anything apart from the stuff written here!! Better luck next time!

Wedding bell(e)s, old friends and the Police!!

Saturday, 29th Aug 2009

Complete strangers can meet in only one place .... in the world of dreams!! And this was proved once again in my dream last night!

My Dream...

My mother and I are seated in a spacious looking room... apparently the drawing room of a nice posh house.... there's an intelligent looking lady sitting in front of us , on the couch.... my mother smiles at her and asks in Hindi .. 'So, where's the girl' ? !! . And this is when it dawns upon me that we are on a bride hunt for myself!! Strange.. I don't know how and why the thought of marriage popped up all of a sudden in my dream!

I always hated arranged marriages... I guess this is why this dream came to me and it shall also explain the events that occured further..

What's even more stranger is that the family we are visiting, are Gujrati or Marwari .. I cant pin down the exact dialect... When I was recollecting this dream in the morning , I wondered why we were visiting a Gujrati family when we are pucca Tam brams... weird!! .. this being an arrannged marriage situation ! .... My mother and the lady in front of us are having an apparently boring conversation, neither of them looking exactly pleased at having to interact with each other..

As I fidget around on the couch, with nothing to do , I notice through the window that in one of the adjoining rooms, there's someone sitting and working on the computer.... a little more concentration and I notice its one of my old friends from my engineering college days... lets call him Mr. A!! I didn't really like this guy much during college days and I wasn't too pleased at seeing him in the dream either!! And so there he was, walking out of the room , along with two more guys .... and as soon as I saw them .. I recognised them... they were my friends from my schooling days..... Lets call them Mr. B and Mr. C! Now... the guy from my college and these guys from my school have never even seen each other, but here in my dream, they turned out to be chaddi buddies!! And Mr. C was apparently the big brother of the girl we'd come to see.... Lets call her Ms. S!

I make small talk with them ... asking them about which jobs they were in and what was going on in their lives.... we really don't want to be talking to each other, but everybody is busy maintaining some sort of courtesy!!

I get to know Mr . C is working with Titan.... wonder why this particular brand popped up here.... the other two were not exactly too forthcoming with what they were doing. ..

I remember Mr. A telling me 'You tell me the stories of your love affairs first, and then I'll tell you the stories of my career!! ' Weird!!

So, here we were, back in the drawing room, waiting for the girl's father to arrive. And arrive he does, in the most pompous manner , looking as if he were doing us a favour by giving us his darshan! He comes and sits in a chair perpendicular to my couch .... and he looks at me with hawk eyes, as if studying me in great detail, I cringe under this unwelcome scrutiny...

He asks me a few harsh questions... when suddenly, the lights in the room go off and on comes this fancy light... like the one's they use on stage to highlight the catwalk of models during a fashion show... and in walks this girl along with her giggling girlfriend... she's not very good looking , she looks scared and she walks with the fear of a little deer walking into the cave of a hungry lion! But I can't really see her too clearly in the dim light .. and off I go with my big mouth.. in hindi, to the girl's father.. 'Please switch on the lights Uncle, I can't even see her properly'!!

The reaction he gives is expected, he scowls at me angrily ... looking really irritated at the way I said that!! The girl sits next to her father, at his feet, on the ground.. .I am repulsed at this... and so is my mother... The father pushes the girl hard towards the floor and growls at her in Marwari/Gujrati ... 'Touch the boy's mother's feet, you idiot' !! Both my mother and I are appaled at this unruly behaviour.... and we exchange a few unsavoury words with her father and we walk out...

The scene suddenly shifts to a building where I am apparently searching for a flat which houses 7 girls... I really dont recollect who they are... maybe my friends.. when I enter the flat they are all busy with some last minute preparations for one of the girl's birthday.. I see a giant multi-tier cake in the middle , nicely perched on a table.. I remember licking my lips at the sight !! ( I guess my love for good food had to make an appearance too!)

One of the girls, looking like a dwarf... she's really tiny... just about 4 feet.... offers to show me around the building ... its called 'Ganga Satellite' , she tells me.. I am surprised at how things connect in dreams.... This was one of the buildings I recently visited while house-hunting!!

I tell her I want to see 'The Inspector' .... I really have no clue why I needed to see the police!!

The scene then shifts to this guy .... 'The Inspector', talking on the phone to the father of the girl I'd visited in the first scene.... The inspector threatens to arrest the man .. He tells him ' I know that you have committed the murder. Its your choice, do you want me to arrest you today or in the morning tomorrow!! ? ' !!

And phutt goes my dream... its all blank now.. dream's over!!

As weird as ever!!

Dreams, Documented!!

It was during the reading of Sigmund Freud's book on the analysis of dreams, that I got intrigued by my favourite nocturnal activity.... dreaming!!

I always had a thing for dreams... the only way I think our subconscious tells us what it really wants!! They are surreal, at times a bit too connected to reality, crazy, beautiful, horrifying, emotional ... all at the same time!!

So here's my journey of accounting my dreams.... each night's story , recounted in as much vivid detail as possible!!